So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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