Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
