Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
