Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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