I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize