Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ok first of all what the fuck
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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