Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
