I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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