Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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