M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
