i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
