Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
