She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My ATM looks so different sober.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
