Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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