I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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