You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize