We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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