Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
