if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize