I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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