But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
