after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
