"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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