so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
