when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
