worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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