I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
