this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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