come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you never un-have a 4some
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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