yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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