I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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