We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize