You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
