Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
