I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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