thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
