WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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