yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
