Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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