We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
