so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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