I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
