do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
