I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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