you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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