Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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