its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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