what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
