he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
