new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
