forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize