Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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