At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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