She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
