drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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