p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize