I'm lost and stupid without you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
