the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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