at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize